Let’s kick Ass.

• 

In the gloom of the café, our knees almost touch under the narrow table. I want to whisper to her, tell her the bad news gently. She deserves that. But all about us other diners talk ever louder, competing with one another to be heard above their collective din.

I have a whole conversation planned, a way to let her know I am leaving. She must know it’s coming too, I see the hurt welling in her eyes behind that New Year smile. Her usual steady gaze flickers from me to the muck on our table, not ours, it is left from the previous customers.

I remove my elbows and sit a little straighter. From the corner of my eye, I catch a young woman staring at us, her lank mousey hair falling in ribbons about her color-drained t-shirt. In her hand is a small writing pad and a biro, she’s the waitress. She orders for us, after all this time she knows exactly what I want before even I do. Perhaps that’s why I have to go. Or maybe she has to go, but the fact is one of us has to leave, for good.

The truth is, I wanted to walk with her through any and every storm, but it was akin to trying to hold a toddler who scratched and bit for years whilst alone. And though I tried, she broke me, literally, in pieces. So I’m taking this rebuilt version of myself, “Me 2.0,” and I’m going to find friends who love me and treat me well. I would always stay with a friend in any storm, yet walking into the same storm that almost left me for dead, not a chance in hell.

The minutes pass and none of us has touched our meal. Maybe because we know in a few more hours we would never see each other again. I am hoping for a better chance with the next partner.

2021, In the coming months, I will also be sitting here with you in this same diner as I say goodbye to you. I am hoping the mood won’t be as somber as it is now with your comrade 2020.

The thing with 2020 is, she has been both good and a pain in our butt in the same capacity. When I came here to welcome her twelve months ago, she was full of promises and all that shenanigans of a better future. You should have seen her begging me to accept her at the expense of 2019. With sugar-coated lips she promised heaven. 2 months in and all hell broke loose. A pandemic and death that hasn’t been experienced in a hundred years hit and 2020 just stood there as she watched the world go into chaos and mayhem.

But since am not one to deny credit where it’s due, 2020 did also help us get off our butts and think outside the box. Suffice to say, WordLove Bookstores wouldn’t have seen the light of day were it not for you 2020. So as we play with our tea waiting for that last goodbye, last hug, I can see tears welling in her eyes but there is little I can do about it. I am eager to welcome my next partner for these 12 coming months and I hope she behaves better than the last. 2021, come baby. Let’s kick some ass.

Happy New Year folks.