2 am thoughts

It seemed unfair that no matter how much he strived to be the man his conscience wanted him to be, it would keep taunting him with his failures. Each time the regrets reemerged he would diligently analyze them again, hoping that this time his mind would be satisfied with his self professed remorse, but it never was. Like an unforgiving specter, it would be back tomorrow to haunt him all over again.

He had done this to himself. Blame it on the alcohol all he wanted but that didn’t change the fact. At 2 am, lights off, gazing at the ceiling and touching the empty space previously occupied by his now-deceased wife, the guilt ate into him. Scrounging into his subconscious mind without permission.

This was his life now. Every time he got up from his bed, he promised himself that he would have more hours of sleep that night but every night he ended up staying awake till the wee hours of dawn.

During the day, when his colleagues were out for lunch, he looked at her photo still sitting on his desk after ten years and he wept. The tears were not quiet and controlled, they fell as fast as the fall rain and he sobbed to draw breath. His lungs heaved and he knew there was no cure for his heart.

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PS: This was supposed to develop into one long-ass story but somewhere along the way inspiration left me hanging high and dry. So here we are with a half baked story. I am still hoping to write it, maybe turn it into another series but in the meantime, let’s enjoy that shall we? Writer’s block sometimes acts like some entitled shit similar to that itch on your back where your hand can’t reach so the only thing you can is keep soothing it till it goes away.

Alafu, we are still reading books, right? Great. Coz I have so many books am selling at WordLove Bookstores and it would be a shame if they continued lying idle in the store while you are hapa ivi bored and waiting for my writer’s block iishe ndio you get a good story. Hit me up with those book requests, you never know I might be feeling deal-cember like and you might just get that book you want at a reduced price. Asanti